sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
There's even glitter on my cock...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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