is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
