It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
