He managed to light the Jello on fire...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
