she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize