girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
