the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
