I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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