"it" just moved
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
