Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
