Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I had to cum in my sink.
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