she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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