I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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