Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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