I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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