I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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