Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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