no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
