I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
