PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
