Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
