I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
