You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I can feel your judgement through the phone
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
