so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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