Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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