he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
