So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Randomize
