There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
