I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
