Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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