I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
