And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
