no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
it glows. i had to have it.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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