Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Randomize
