i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
