I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
