Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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