The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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