It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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