she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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