Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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