Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
