Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize