people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
