Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
