smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Green mimosas i think yes
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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