dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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