I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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