M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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