I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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