I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
