It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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