between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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