'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
