I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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