I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
false alarm. still invincible.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
