why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
