my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
