hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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