You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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