I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
