I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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