thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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