yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
