im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
