it's like iHOP with fire
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
