You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize