So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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