my sisters under your porch take her home
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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