So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize