you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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