I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize