I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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