come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
