i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
