I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
We need to rekindle our bromance
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
