hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
