I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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