I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
