dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
