How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
you never un-have a 4some
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize