i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
