i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
