Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
The air taste purple.
Randomize
